Updated: Jan 17, 2018
Do you ever feel like no matter how many different stages of life you go through, the same fundamental challenges keep popping up time and time again? Maybe it's toxic relationships, maybe it's finding solace in food,maybe it's addiction, or maybe it's even denial. I had to be hit over the head with the same challenge (masked in a variety of circumsances) many times before I recognized the pattern. As Gabbie Bernstein says in her book, "The Universe Has Your Back", the Universe is handing you an assignment. You can run from this assignment, but it will continue to pop up until you show up, work through it, and learn. Ultimately, your goal as a human being is to grow--so listen and show up for the damn lesson.
My challenge, my assignment for which I needed to show up, was to tackle a beast that had been riding shotgun for as long as I can remember. It was the ugly monster of judgement, failure, and mediocrity. I was scared to death of being judged and failing wildly. It's not anything unique--I'm sure many of you have the same fears. The Universe finally gave me the assignment in a way that woke me up. I realized my whole life, my defense mechanism against fear was to run away. To quit. To pour myself into something else that I *might* be good at. When that thing didn't work, I'd run to the next and never even look back at what I had left behind. Yikes. Not a good pattern. So here is what I learned:
You have two choices: to live your life looking through the lens of fear or live your life looking through the lens of love. It's so simple. It's even more powerful. I realized that all of the fear I carried my whole freaking life was a lie. A lie I made up. This perception that I would fail and that others would judge my failure became my reality. I cannot emphasize this enough: YOUR PERCEPTION CREATES YOUR REALITY. Through this process of really dissecting my fears, I discovered my ego, and I found out that she was one hell of a manipulative liar. She's in my head, right between my ears. She rambles on all day, feeding me lies--I'm not good enough, skinny enough, bold enough. I need to work out, I need to feed my kids more organic, from scratch, gluten-free chicken nuggets. I need THIS to be happy. I need THAT to be happy. SHE IS A PSYCHOTIC B*TCH. And she is full of lies. We spend so much of our days trapped in our egos, and believing their fear-based lies. Honestly, it makes us feel safe. Living in our fear is comfortable. We don't push ourselves, we don't do brave things, and we don't open up to ourselves and the people we love. We disconnect. We separate. We say, "I got this. I'll handle it myself. I'm strong--no one needs to know my suffering." And then we become trainwrecks.
Instead, I have the choice---YOU have the choice--to live your life looking through the lens of love. Anytime a fear-based lie rears its ugly head, you call it out. You name it. You laugh at its ridiculousness, and then you tap into your soul. Your authentic self. Your true nature. How do you find that place? It's in your gut. It's the place where you have already known everything that you need to know. Have you ever tapped into something spiritual and said, "I already knew that. I always knew that. I just didn't remember." Yeah, that's the place where your fundamental wisdom resides. It's where you are connected with the Universe (or God, or the Source). I call it The Pocket. It's your sweet spot, where your true self resides. Go home to your gut and your authentic self. Get out of your head and your stop listening to your ego. It's truly a process of unlearning. Unlearning the fears and limits you've taught yourself, or that have been taught to you as a young child. Unlearning the guilt, self-hatred, and shame that we cover with invisible armor. Make the choice to make every decision through the lens of love, and you can let go of fear. That, my friends, is truly freeing.
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